|Name||New Age Retro Hippie|
|Up Special||Skip Sandwich|
|Final Smash||PSI Groove|
|Release Date of Origin||August, 27th, 1994|
The New Age Retro Hippie is a generic enemy from Earthbound. While exploring Twoson, a variety of strange enemies come to attack Ness. Cops, Unassuming Local Guys, Cranky Ladies, and Annoying Old Party Men are among the list of strange enemies, but the most memorable and hilarious is the New Age Retro Hippie. The New Age Retro Hippie's attacks include using a ruler to measure things (which does nothing at all), brushing his teeth (solidifying Ness), losing his temper (raising his attack power), and a weak, generic attack. After the New Age Retro Hippie is defeated, it will "return to normal". This is never elaborated on, however. There is a 1/128 chance that a New Age Retro Hippie will drop a ruler after being defeated in battle.
Enemies known simply as "Hippies" appeared in the original Mother game. The Hippie Battle Music has been known as a hilarious and prominant theme in the Mother series that occurs during any Hippie battle.
Up Taunt: New Age Retro Hippie smiles toward the camera as flowers appear in his hair.
Down Taunt: New Age Retro Hippie does a short disco dance before smiling toward the camera.
Side Taunt: New Age Retro Hippie simply flashes the peace sign toward the camera.
A Twoson bus drives by the back of the stage. The New Age Retro Hippie is kicked out of a window while the bus is driving by, falling face-first into the ground. The hippie then removes his face from the ground before taking a fighting or dancing position.
Kirby gains the hippie's wacky hair and beard.
Ruler (?%): Now he can figure out the length of things easily! The New Age Retro Hippie pulls a ruler out of his hair and points it out like a sword. It takes about a second for the New Age Retro Hippie to pull a ruler out of his hair. If the New Age Retro Hippie is attacked while pulling the ruler out of his hair, he will throw the ruler into the air, freak out, and deliver a very cowardly-looking counter-attack by slapping the opponent silly. If not, the New Age Retro Hippie will use the Ruler in a manner similar to the Home-Run Bat. The hippie's ruler has about the same power as a fan, but has the speed of a Home-Run Bat's uncharged swing. The Hippie's slaps can deal from 1 to 20% damage if all slaps hit. The ruler has the reach of Kirby's Hammer. After five hits, or throwing it into the air, the hippie's ruler will break. At this point, there is a 10% chance that the ruler will cause splinters to line the ground. Anyone who stands in the splinters, including the hippie, will take 1% damage per second. Splinters last for 10-20 seconds. Only one ruler can be on the screen at a time. Splinters do not count toward this time peroid.
Brainshock (3%-11%): New Age Retro Hippie gracefully jumps forward. This attack has a slightly shorter range than Diddy Kong's Monkey Flip. Like the Monkey Flip, if the New Age Retro Hippie does not touch an enemy during his jump, this attack is completely useless. However, if he does make contact with an opponent, the hippie will suddenly strike them with a neon ball of PSI energy that somehow appears in his hand. The opponent, extremely confused on what had happened, will carry a random status effect. Possible status effects include: flower on head, increasing speed, decreasing speed, increasing gravity, decreasing gravity, or reversing controls. There is also a 15% chance that the New Age Retro Hippie will encounter the status effects alongside his victim. Reguardless of what happens, the Hippie will deal 3-11% damage with his PSI ball.
Skip Sandwich (2%-5%): The New Age Retro Hippie will take a Skip Sandwich from his shirt and take a big bite. Suddenly, he jumps very high into the air, doing the splits. It takes about the time for Zelda to prepare for her recovery for the hippie to take a bite of his sandwich. The hippie will jump about the height of Captain Falcon's Falcon Dive, and pretty quickly as well. Though the splits are very weak damage-wise, this move has amazing horizontal knockback. After reaching maximum height, the hippie will suddenly flip over and, holding his face in a scream, fall helplessly toward the ground.
Toothbrush (0%): New Age Retro Hippie brings a toothbrush out of his hair. He quickly begins brushing his teeth, making his teeth white and breath fresh. The brightness of New Age Retro Hippie's teeth make his enemies scared! Anyone directly in front of New Age Retro Hippie, within the length of Bowser's body, will be stunned by the hippie's teeth's brightness. The New Age Retro Hippie can continuously show off his teeth for a second and a half by holding the special moves button. This move deals no damage. Anyone stunned by the hippie's teeth with find themselves in a broken shield position for five seconds. If the New Age Retro Hippie is hit from the back or by a projectile while using this attack, he will take 1.5 times the damage he normally would. It takes a second for the New Age Retro Hippie to brush his teeth. This move does not affect opponents in the air.
PSI Groove (20%-40%): The New Age Retro Hippie suddenly pulls a boombox out of his hair. Suddenly, the Hippie Battle Theme from the Mother series begins blasting out of the box. Along with this, however, the background of whatever stage New Age Retro Hippie is fighting on becomes a phychadelic blend of colors. For ten to twenty seconds, all opponents of the New Age Retro Hippie will take 2% damage per second they are in the hippie's realm. In addition to the background changes, the New Age Retro Hippie becomes much faster. All of New Age Retro Hippie's special moves become much more powerful. For example, the Toothbrush can work on foes in the air, the Skip Sandwich triples in vertical recovery, and Brainshock becomes an extremely powerful move with very high knockback, but no status effects. After a while, the hippie's background will fade. However, the boombox the hippie used will become a destructable item on the stage, with similar properties to the Wario Bike. Until it is destroyed, the Hippie Battle Theme will continue to play.